Today, I am miserable.
Sounds stupid doesn't it. I hear the cries of 'You ungrateful bitch' coming from a far.
I should be singing and dancing and moving to the music on cloud 9, whilst celebrating what so many were desperate for, except I'm not.
I mean I did, when I woke up I was still jigging with excitement and then the postman came....
A letter from the hospital...
The Parent or Guardian of *Kyd*
'I am writing to confirm the details of *Kyd's* admission under the care of Mr Grant or a member of the Peadiatric Surgery team.
Admission Date: 16 January 2014
Admission Time: 07.30
At: John Radcliffe Hospital'
I have been waiting for the letter. Last week we were all really ill with that gastric bug that has been floating around and I was saying I hope we hear soon....
I didn't think it would be this soon.
I didn't think it would be today, of all days. Today, the day after we celebrate being a Mark Warner family and start making plans for our 2014 adventures.
I know I should be happy really, which is silly, but we have been pushing for this operation for years and we are finally going to get this fixed, he is finally going to be out of pain....
But I can't help but have that knot of parental dread in my belly. That feeling of guilt that he is going to go through some horrendous ordeal and I can't help him or take it away.... that is what has made me miserable today, knowing he's going to have to be in more pain before he can fix his ongoing pain... and selfishly, knowing I will have to watch him in all that pain and be helpless.
It is quite extensive surgery, not rare but not common, it will however be life changing and he will be able to enjoy so much more throughout the day pain free. The after care and daily routine is quite a long old job and it will be a challenge to get used to but we are up for it.... maybe not quite ready for it but we have time to work it out.
Wish him luck. I will keep people updated.... what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't!
Anyway I have set myself a new mantra recently,
'Take the positives from the negatives and change your view point on the situation'
It is hard to do but it works and it can change your entire out look on a situation.
So my positive from this blow to the system today is:
'He will be healed and fixed in time for us to BE the best Mark Warner Family we can be and so this is the best timing ever.'
Always keep positive, life is too short to be angry, upset or anxious. Life is what YOU make of it and you learn as you go, mistakes happen, pick yourself up, brush yourself down, take a deep breath and smile. Tomorrow is another day.