Sunday, 23 June 2013

Britmums Live - The Comfortable Feeling of Content

I often portray an odd array of confidence when with large groups of people. Like there is a switch I press as I walk into a room. People have said I ooze it. Like I'm content with who and what I am and love it. 

I have news for you...

I am not...
I am quite good at the act, so I don't blame people for falling for it, in fact, I deserve an Oscar for it I think... or maybe a BiB?... *winks*

Alas, this is somewhat a front.

A story I act out, often daily.

A lie, if you like.

The inside me is cowering in the big toe of my 6ft body, scared that nobody likes me, that nobody wants to listen to what I say and that I might mess up getting my point across and upset somebody...

In real life this is more apparent, I often upset people with what I do and say it seems.


In my 'Blog Life'... 

It seems it is actually not so apparent and I actually have a very content and comfortable feeling around the people I interact with... both online and off AND if somebody doesn't like me and someone's actions worry me, I just distance myself quietly yet stay friends with everyone, take myself away from the drama or situation so not to make it worse or to make it a drama at all. But to be honest there aren't many of them so it doesn't matter. 

I surround myself with people I want to be around.

These people I call my

Bloggy Friends!

They're bloody EPIC!

 They are different from my 'Real Life' friends because I actually have never met some of them, like EVER, but I care for them just as much.
However much non bloggers and 'real life' friends find that strange, that a bunch of people who have hardly ever met are such good friends, it is true.

It seems I can be myself, I can be both scared and confident all at once, with no issue and no come back. A few wobbles and a few rants here and there but no over whelming feeling of panic and self confidence melt down, just that Comfortable and Content Feeling so many, including me, crave.

It's a new feeling for me and I quite like it, in fact I bloody love it.

It's smooth and it's calm.

It's almost zen like.

Like someone has turned the light on in a dark room.

It's like sitting in a cottage in the country with just the sound of the fire flickering.

Like walking on the beach with the waves crashing at your feet.

Like the butterflies you get in a new relationship.

It's like that bit after an orgasm when you take your first deep breath and you smile.

Yeah OK that is going a bit far BUT you get my point, it's a nice feeling.

I know I am a sarcastic bitch at times, I take the mick out of people in light humour (always in a nice way not in a mean way) and I do say odd things that often I wish I hadn't. My brain and my mouth often don't communicate and people look at me like 'why have you just said that?' and 'that isn't even relevant' 'why has she just said the word Toilet in the middle of a sentence about flowers?'. This doesn't matter to them, they smile and they laugh, obviously non Bloggy Friends do this too but it seems very few sometimes.

The best thing is...

When you are FRIENDS with the right people...

The right people could be absolutely anyone too. We might even disagree on who the right people are. I might get on with someone you don't click with and visa versa but that shouldn't matter, that shouldn't get in the way of who you are and who you are friends with. Most importantly that shouldn't get in the way of you being friends with anyone at all. You are you and you should do as you please and speak to who you like. It makes me sad that people don't realise this until it is too late. You don't have to agree on everything or with everyone, you don't even have to have much in common to be 'friends'. You just need to be courteous and patient, stay calm and discuss things sensibly and realise others have opinions on things that you don't like and that sometimes you will disagree. 
This is just life. 
This is just the manner of friendship.
If you find people who disagree with this... run! Run as fast as you can!

The good thing about people who think this way is that there is no specific group or clique, people are open to join in conversations, sit with these people for dinner and laugh along with them. They will let people in on jokes, share knowledge and wealth the best they can, even if they don't know you. They are warm and friendly and smile even when they forget your name or you forget theirs. They are decent human beings and they are always there to help when you need them... even when you are a stranger.

If we have learnt anything from losing Kerry we have learnt that life is too short, anything can happen, we should remember all that Kerry is missing out on we actually have, WE are the lucky ones. Don't worry about who likes you, who doesn't, who you might upset with your decisions and whose opinion to listen to and whose not to. These things will just fester in the background and eventually fizzle out. People might hold grudges but that is their problem not yours. 
Smile through it. 
Love life!
Just be YOU and let them be them... and all will be fine. 

This is what makes friendships that matter and THIS, this above here, that feeling that I described, that is what happens when you find the right people to spend your time with. 

And that is why I love my Bloggy friends.

THIS, all this above... this is what made BritMums Live so Epic for me!

So Thank You, 
All of You
For being just you

And Thank You Look Again for sponsoring me to go to this years BML too.


  1. Coombe Mill (Fiona)25 June 2013 at 13:26

    Beautiful, from a beautiful and confident lady!

  2. Fantastic post, it's epic as are you!! xx


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