Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The Art of Medically Pooping

Following on from my projectile pooping post the other day, I thought I'd add in Kyd's pooping talents too.

Yep! My life really does revolve around s**t!

As scary as you non parents and parents to be may find this

ALL PARENTS LIVES REVOLVE AROUND S**T

Kyd has issues parting with it & Rocky has issues holding on to it!

Kyd has a medical condition though so he has an excuse.

He has got used to it over time and so have we,

yet every time he goes it is astounding!

The whole process is madness.

BUT

He has the Art of Medically Pooping down to a T!

He doesn't poo all week and then has loads of meds 

and 

BOOM!!

It's like mount Vesuvius turned upside down!

The smell is like some sort of in house death gas.

Even he laughs at the over flow of extract from his nether regions.

Often pretending to faint at the smell and making you look at what he's done!!

He is a trooper though as this a very painful experience and if we didn't laugh...

Well, we'd cry....

A Lot!!

I assure you you've never seen or smelt anything like it in your lives!

I hope you never do either

But again like my last post...

IF you ever have to deal with Kyd and his Meds I'll give you this bit of advice...

 Don't make a massive fuss as he gets a bit sensitive.

Do, do a courtesy flush half way through.

If you don't do the above make sure you have a plunger.

Don't have a hangover.

Don't eat just before.

DO store some fabreeze in the toilet effected.


As parents you often think about the S word, you think about it day and night...

If only that S word was the same S word as the non parents' S word...

That'd be nice!


9 comments:

  1. actual crying. crying with laughter in a totally non discrimintry way. love this - if you don't laugh you'd cry!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks it is quite funny... until you're covered in it and then... it's not so funny! lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh bless you all! When Sausage was a baby, she suffered really badly with constipation. She'd get so impacted that by the time she did go, it was the size of a canon ball and rock hard (if you're a Futurama fan, think of Nibbler's antimatter poos and you're getting close!).


    It was a vicious circle too, she got so scared of pooing because it split her open and made her bleed that she'd deliberately hold it it, making it harder, bigger and even more impacted. We thought dietary changes might help but even giving her prunes and syrup of figs made no difference.


    In the end, we had to get glycerine suppositories from the doctor and I've had my finger up her bum more times than I care to remember! Fortunately, she grew out of it, but I completely sympathise with the whole 'world revolving around poo' thing. I've even send Husband a text or two in the past, containing a picture showing him the sheer size of what the poor little thing had passed!


    It's a grand old life, eh?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. hahahahaha I always take photo's as people just do not believe the amount that comes out of him! He has blocked toilets at, Paddington station, hospitals, trains, church, John Lewis, School... and many more! Poor kid he gets so embarrassed that we have started making it a joke so he laughs at it instead of cry! It is said he will grow out of it eventually.... 10 years along I'm beginning to disbelieve them!

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