Alas, at the beginning of this year the results came back clear and we knew that the baby boy I was carrying was fit and healthy and clear of my dodgy genes.
'This' I said 'Is the best start to, what will be, an amazing year'
I couldn't have been more wrong.
Don't get me wrong!
My baby boy has to be one of the best things ever to have happened to me in my whole life, the others being Kyd and meeting Hoff **try not to puke**
Having my long awaited well planned baby though, would turn out to be the hardest thing I would go through in a long time and it follows me into 2013 like a bad smell.
So why has 2012 been so crappy?...
I have dealt with a rare rib disease, odd labour pains, stupid symptoms and hospital stays. Medical neglect, a severe above the knee DVT leaving me unable to walk, in a lot of pain and unable to breastfeed, leave the house or even enjoy my baby, oh and a few infections to add to the mix too. Followed by, daily then weekly blood tests, veins failing, suspected MS, lots of MRI tests & scans, a cyst on my spinal cord and being unable to feel my feet through pins & needles, oh and not being able to treat my ribs due to being on Warfarin.... and a massively fat granny leg!
Amongst that lot, I have lost too many friends this year, who should be with us now but are sadly amongst the stars and with the fairies, as a few of my friends would say. I have watched their families grieve and the flowers on their grave side wilt... but my memories will stay strong and I'll never forget them.
2012 in all respect to it's Sporting and Patriotic goodness, for me, can sod off!
But I do have a lot to be grateful for and for this I will be truly in debt to 2012 forever.
This is what I wake up to every day.
I will never take them for granted as time is short. I learnt this year that anything can happen and it can devastate yours and everyone else's life within seconds. I was the lucky one, I caught that blood clot before it hit anywhere fatal and I have my life to look forward to. I can fight the rest of it and I can be where I want to be and do what I want to do... others don't have that luxury.
So for 2013... I promise to fight it all with a smile, be grateful for what I've got and love the ones close to me... OHHHH and marry the best and most patient (irritating and bonkers) man I have ever met... whether he likes it or not!
Here's to 2013!!
**takes a deep breath, closes eyes, crosses fingers, prays and hopes for the best**