Sunday, 11 November 2012

Dear Twat Face aka Liz Jones - The #MumsnetBlogfest Edition

Dear Twat Face aka Liz Jones,

There were plenty of other words I could have used to describe you Liz, including the C word, but I thought 'Twat Face' was about as intelligent as you think we 'Mummy Bloggers' generally are, so I went with the generalisation and used the school yard term for ABSOLUTE DICK!

It's a joke really though ay?! As, you my dear, are about as intelligent as a brain dead goldfish who got accidentally flushed down the loo due to being mistaken for dead during a power nap, which incidentally would go well with the orange skin and gormless fish face look you seem to be sporting more times than not.

I believe your absolute drab look and voice reflects in the absolute crap you write though, so well done you for sticking to being yourself and showing us what could happen if we all became worthless attention seeking females like yourself. I do find the tat you seem to write is a bit egotistical and stinks of self-righteous nonsense too, which is nice. Oh and I also love the fact you feel the need to write in the name of the designer items you are wearing or using during an event which has nothing to do with fashion, although the reasons behind this are beyond me as nobody really gives a shit!

Quite frankly the piece you did today about Mumsnet Bloggers was complete drivel and even more frankly, a complete load of bullshit. It came across like you were jealous that we earn money for doing a job that you deem unnecessary and that you were panicking deep down that your small fry opinionated column may soon become even more unnecessary than it already is because we can do it for you and no doubt get more readers daily. The fact that people want to advertise on these blogs shows you that people deem this form of writing as apparent, no? What is it that you deem about our time, opinion and writing skills as less important than yours? Other than the fact we haven't all been to Journo College we are no different to you, we write because we want to and we love it, or is that what is different? You don't enjoy what you do any more so you're bitter at the people that do.

We did a lot about Trolls yesterday at Mumsnet Blogfest and I think you are actually the worst kind of troll because you are writing your trolling in a national newspaper that can be read by anyone stupid enough to buy the paper you work for. Naming bloggers in your writing and pointing out what you dislike about them is a bit juvenile is it not? Plus generalising them all as 'Stay At Home Mums' too was also stupid on your behalf, not everybody with parenting blogs are jobless and we don't all bake cakes either by the way.

As a supposedly 'inspirational' confessional style professional writer, which is why you were speaking yesterday, surely you would be applauding others that are wanting to try and speak their minds and write or are you scared of someone kicking your old arse into touch and stealing your limelight? Because nobody wants to work for the Daily Fail sweetheart so your jobs safe..... Well until they open their eyes and see that you're just a shrivelled up old hag clutching on to her youth with a designer handbag, trying desperately to seem happy with the life that you evidently ruined for a career you admit you don't even like.... Good luck with that!

You seem to think your opinion is that of the average person and that being so blunt is not only funny but also interesting. I have some news for you, it's not. The way you write about things you have no dealings with seems to me like the need for attention. You have no children and the fact you have no children also means you have no dealings in the parenting world. You also have no way of knowing whether maternity leave is a holiday. It's defo not a holiday sweetheart unless on your holidays you are looking after a screaming bundle of sleepless nights whos well being and life is more important than your own. The fact that you think that writing about parenting on a blog is less interesting than the drivel you write in a paper everyone hates is amazing seeing as you tend to write about parenting and child related interests quite often. You mock us and say we are just a newly formed online knitting community, yet you yourself once were desperate for a child were you not?

So desperate, and correct me if I'm wrong, you have been known to steal sperm out of a used condom in order to fall pregnant, no? You were that desperate to join our knitting group that you risked getting aids and other sexually transmitted diseases in order to have a baby. Risking the baby's health too which is lovely of you. This actually worries me and I'm so pleased for that potential child that it didn't actually come about as this has Jeremy Kyle written all over it 'I don't know my father because my mother stole sperm from a used condom in an attention seeking plot to have more to write about in her column'. Sadly I hear that you actually wrote this after writing a piece on how anorexia had left you infertile, which is awful, but if so why would you then write a piece about trying to get pregnant with stolen sperm? Either you're infertile or not? Did you think it was 'Magic Sperm' from Jacks magic beans?? If so, I am actually worried for your mental state, have you sought help?

**please note that after writing this I was told you actually stole the sperm from your ex boyfriends used condom so no risk to health was made.... although even more morally wrong as he didn't want any kids and so tricking him into having a kid, I think is even more disgusting than getting an old condom from a public toilet bin! shame on you!**

During your undeserved spotlight on the panel talking about how public writing effects peoples personal lives, you had us all being sick in our handbags and tweeting about how sad your life really is, which is a bonus for an attention seeker like yourself as any publicity is good publicity ay Liz?! During this you said you had no relationships and that even your family had held back important information about your fathers health in fear you'd write about it. You said that it's pointless if you stop writing because of those around you not wanting you to... surely the fact your family know you well enough to know that you are that much of an attention seeker you'd use their illnesses for your own personal gain, has to ring alarm bells that you have taken your career in pissing people off too far.

Maybe it's time to quit whilst your behind.....

I would say I feel sorry for you, I pity you or I admire your career or honesty.... but that would be a lie.

I actually think you need help and I would quite happily put you in contact with a few lovely counsellors that might melt that iced up heart and mind that you have.

During the passing around of your piece on the blog circuit I have heard people say 'don't rise to it, that's what she wants' 'the more you respond the more of a bonus she gets for getting traffic to the daily fail'. Although I agree with them I also think that if we keep quiet you will be silencing a group of people with opinions and lives that actually matter in this world. Personally I am not willing to be silenced by the very person who deemed blogs pointless as we would then be actually pointless as our opinions deserve to be heard and I am certainly not being silenced by someone who steals sperm from a used condom!.... there are clinics you can get that stuff from you know!

Before I go could you do me a favour.....

Could you actually crack a smile and send us all a picture.... One of the other pointless bloggers you offended is willing to pay for whoever gets you to do it.... I could do with the cash!

Ta!






I know what some of you are thinking 'she speaks of Trolls yet she writes like one, which defeats the point' The difference between what I've just written and Trolling is that I am responding to a piece written by someone who generally doesn't care what she writes, she said yesterday if you want to be a writer you have to have a thick skin and if you don't, don't write! I have a thick skin but also a big mouth and I am responding in a manner she told us to, if you don't like it tell them.

I have purposely left this part of the piece out for the good reason of it's just bloody arrogant and bordering racism and I will leave you to make your own opinion:

Women have again been duped into thinking the world exists in their tiny, safe, fragrant homes, that life revolves around burps.
They might just as well don a burka, and shuffle, so narrow is their vision

3 comments:

  1. I love that you refuse to be silenced about this. She has been a troll over this and if she was some faceless online person then yes, maybe don't feed the troll but she's getting paid to write in a mainstream newspaper read by many - how is that an example to others?
    Yes, ok, let her have her opinions, but let them be well balanced and based on experience and above all not bloody racist!
    ARGH that woman!

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  2. Hi Alice, it's Simone - we met at the Olbas event & again yesterday when I came over & accosted you while you were talking to the lovely Mamma Mio lady - yes me, that one!

    I'm also the Simone from The Bottom of the Ironing Basket Blog who Liz named after a lightning quick interview before the panel started!! It's been quite the day today!!

    I LOVE your response - you are a really good & very eloquent writer & I agree with all you have said.

    I've read so many comments today - and had a ton of emails, tweets, comments myself (every single one supportive). I guess the Daily Mail & Mumsnet win because they've got a ton of publicity and Liz Jones got her column & got paid.

    What a very sad woman she is - she had the power to possibly change our minds on her a little yesterday but clearly that didn't matter one bit. Everything is column fodder for her. Really disappointing.

    I wrote a response myself - it's here if you want to read it http://thebottomoftheironingbasket.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/me-and-ms-jones.html

    Take care & hope to see you again soon,

    Simone X

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  3. She must live a very sad life, I can't imagine that she has any friends when she uses those around her as case studies for her angry and bitter articles. I think that it's impossible not to rise to the article, well done for having your say.

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