Sunday, 15 July 2012

Rocky: Day 5 - Hospital part 2... *Yawn*

He doesn't DO being woken up! FACT!

We have tried so hard to wake him enough for him to feed but have hardly got anywhere! He has 5 mins on and off the breast and then he gets frustrated and falls asleep! Then we have to wake him again to give him his top up, which takes the best part of an hour and he only takes about 20ml of the 50ml prescribed and that takes an hour to give him....... By this time he has an hour or less to sleep and we have to start all over again!!! I don't get the full hour either because once I've sorted everything out again and actually fallen asleep I get less than 45mins and I am back on it.....

I was knackered before but now it's a joke! The nurse and I tried everything to wake him to the point we were getting him naked, changing clean nappies, tickling his feet etc etc and I even resorted to flicking a tiny bit of cold water in his face (made me feel evil).... NOTHING!!! If he would just wake enough to feed we would be OK! He could sleep longer undisturbed then and be happy but it's like catch 22 at the moment! My whole body aches! I have had no time to recover from my ridiculously long and painful birth and my 9 months of sleepless nights from rib pain, so my body is crying out for a break. It hates me! It wants me to slow down! I can't slow down, I don't have the time. My back is hurting from this camp bed already and my hips feel like they're trying to squish back into shape! I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be aching this much but according to my friends it's normal..... obviously it is I've just given birth derrrrr.

Hoff Watch...
He feels useless I can see it in his face. At home he had a place in the routine. He knew what to do and we had got into the routine of, I feed, he changes the nappy...... gave him something to do!! Although nappy changing is still available to do during the day and he can feed him the bottle top ups now, he is feeling useless that he has to watch as I am so bloody tired and he can't be there at night in here to help. I feel for him as after watching me give birth and literally scaring him half to death he is now watching me stress out about not sleeping. He looks worried about Rocky too but I keep explaining to him that this is nothing and we'll be back on track eventually.

More Loss??
OMG he's lost more weight!!! Only a little bit of a loss but he's not gained anything!!! He's been eating constantly because we have had to keep waking him up. Yeah OK it's been hell getting it in him but we've done it! The nurse looked as beaten as me! We had tried so bloody hard! Grrrrrrrrrr

Another Night....
KILL ME NOW! Another night in here?!?! On this camp bed? my back is killing me now and my body is slowly destroying itself. I want to cry but I know it's for the best. I just can't see it being any better than last night even though he's eating slightly better today and waking more.Oh well stop with the defeatist attitude... Bring It On Rocky!!

Completely Unaware....
Poor Rocky is completely unaware of just how much his love of sleep was destroying me! Just laying there so peaceful and cute. I should be loving the fact he likes to sleep really, as non sleeping babies and screaming are the biggest complaints of new parents surely! Oh well I'll remind him of it when he's 18 and mentally torture him until guilt turns into money!.... this is a joke by the way I'm not quite that evil..... just yet!

Home Tomorrow?? I bloody hope so!!

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