Friday, 4 November 2011

Umbrella Etiquette

So It is currently peeing it down here in Reading and no doubt all across the country... This is Blighty after all!

There is nothing worse for a parent than waking up to the sound of torrential rain, knowing you've not only got to battle the kids today... but a wet school run too!

The kids are up, dressed, watered, fed, cleaned and then stood at the door ready for school looking all angelic... In our case thrown at the door looking like he wants to kill me for waking him up!...

Then BAM!!... Mother Nature throws a bucket of water over you, as if you're some stalker cheating ex in a Rom Com... and your lovely looking, clean and tidy children look like small drowned rats and you... their rat queen!

Now Brollies were a marvellous invention, one of which we use regularly... when I say WE, I mean me... as Kyd thinks holding a Brolly will make him disintegrate with just one touch! I try so hard to get him to have his own brolly but he is not having any of it! I don't know whether it's just uncool or he is just blind lazy, but he would rather get wet and suffer the consequences, which for him are far worse than most. I end up being his Celebrity chaperone trying to keep up with his every step, run, hop, jump or waddle trying to keep him dry! This can grate on me first thing in the morning as I am in no way a morning person and neither is he!

Not only do we have to battle trying to keep the precious darlings dry we have to work out what the hell the Etiquette is for clashing Brollies on paths...

Do you lift yours to avoid brolly eye contact with passers by?
Do they lift theirs and you duck?
Do you both lift it?
Is it people on the roadside lift and path side duck?
Do you both just leave it where it is and barge past?... resulting in tutting!

But that is not all you have the 'Non Brolly pedestrians' to deal with too!

Do they duck and dodge you?
Do you lift and risk getting wet?
Or think 'F them if they can't be assed to use a brolly I'm not going to get wet lifting my brolly to accomidate them, it's their own problem...'?

Oh I don't bloody know! I wish someone would come up with a law or rule that everyone should use whilst walking on a path with Brollies!

It's bloody hard work on the school run round here, most people have drowned rat kids by the time they get to school, the Brolly brigade generally have no manners, leaving me having to try and keep up with Kyd and avoid their eyes, brollies, faces and dodge their already drenched running children & dogs!!

I know I am not on my own in this distress, generally because a few of the other Brolly mums were found to be tutting as they were pushed past on the street by others this morning, dodging the eye gouging and drenching! So this random rant is quite valid...


For some reason I woke up with November Rain by Guns n Roses in my head & now I have Rianna Umberella ella ella ay ay ay ay ay ay in my head.... I much preferred Guns n Roses!

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