Monday, 1 August 2011

Late Night Rant... Shopping for Female Giants

It's 1am on the 1st Monday of the school holidays and, scarily, of August... Where has this year gone??... and I can't bloody sleep. I thought I would use this time to get a few Blog Posts finished but I keep getting distracted by the ramblings of randoms on twitter... then got distracted by the fact I have no clothes (I don't even remember how this became relevant at 1am but there we go)... The wardrobe full of material just doesn't count as it's old, out dated and quite frankly, and scarily, doesn't fit any more... As I am skint and Hoff has said 'no shopping this month' (same as last month then :rollseyes:) due to the pressure of the 6 week holidays, I decided to attack my online shopping account with Next...

Now, I am 6ft tall with a 36inch leg and a size 7 1/2 shoe and finding clothes for my giant of a body is hard work... luckily, or so I thought, Next have a tall section so the fact I was limited to one shop wouldn't matter...

But WHY do shops think all TALL woman are DOWDY and quite bluntly OLD?! I am not singling out Next here by the way I love the place for everything else Kyd's wardrobe is like their shop floor... I am just pointing out that this range, amongst others around, is quite irritatingly DULL! They do try, I mean they have the odd gem in there, but generally the 'Tall' section it's like walking in to Marks n Sparks or BHS and I wouldn't usually put Next in the same category as them shopping wise... I am not being offensive to either of these brands either, we use these too, but for different reasons... I love M&S' tights and Kyd loves BHS' boys range... I just wouldn't choose to buy my everyday clothes there... just yet... I am 25 and they are aimed at a slightly older market... But I am sure in years to come I'll be a regular... have I dug myself out the hole yet?... Anyway swiftly moving on...

In my annoyance I decided to check out a few more online stores that offer TALL sections...
Long Tall Sally for instance... A whole shop devoted to TALL woman '5'8" and above' Yet I think I have again walked in to a shop for middle aged/ office workers/ mums types. Where are the clothes for us 'younger' tall girls?? So I typed in 'Tall Girls Clothes' instead of 'Woman' and up came TallGirls.co.uk and I was excited by the fact there was a cool younger model in the pic... alas I wasn't really that impressed there either really, sadly! Still as above pretty boring! So I found myself shouting (in my head as it's late)... NEXT!!...
So then came Tallandall.com OMG it was defo for the Drag Queen industry... I have to admit it cracked me up seeing the words 'PVC Clothes' in the categories... haha soooooo that was a NO!... obviously a very quick and promt... NEXT!!...
So next on my Google list www.laredoute.co.uk who just thought I was 'En Plus'.... which I thought was rude!!... I may have put on weight but Google now seemed to be taunting me about it... Is this what you call 'Cyber Bullying'? lol... I didn't like that idea so left that site immediately! didn't even check out the range to see if it was tall lol... NEXT!!!...
Now I loved the name of the next one www.lankybird.com BRILLIANT that is what I had been called all my life... I had high hopes for this one... FAIL!... Not only was it dowdy it was bloody ridiculously priced!... :Sigh: NEXT!!...
Then came Mr and Mrs Tall Clothes... odd name I thought lol (I preffer LankyBird I think!)... But this was just a Blog on clothes for Tall people... I read through it and they were still a bit 'Not Me' even though they'd put together little collections of the best clothing from mainly the above companies, I just wasn't feeling it... Was this really all that was on offer??? they had obviously gone through the internet JUST LIKE ME... written a blog about it JUST LIKE ME... and they still came up with nothing :sadface: and :worriedface: all at the same time!

OMG I am destined to be 'Old Before My Time!' Jeeeees!! there must be a slight glimmer of hope in the fashion industry, after all, to be a Model you have to be over 5'10" for god sake how do they get them into the clothes for the actual photos to be taken? and Where the hell do the Models go to get their clothes when they're not working???

I know that a few of the 'High Street' shops such as, New Look, Dorothy Perkins and Top Shop do Tall ranges from past experience... as obviously I haven't lived the past 25 years naked... but there seems to be so little choice that I walk in and turn around... that or in the case of Top Shop which I adore I just can't afford to buy it... but if I actually see something I like they don't have my size anyway... because for some reason they all think all tall girls are models and a size 6... so I have a sneaky suspicion this is the stomping ground of my, much envied, model folk... That or they are all living in the clothes they gain from the odd designer campaign they've got under their belts... annoyingly pretty, tall, skinny modelly types make me sick... I am, of course, just jealous of their cleverness to use their height to their advantage instead of throwing it away getting fat and whinging about it... which of course I am doing now... oh well onwards and upwards... trying not to go any further outwards...

How come I still can't find a clothes shop that will fit my tall, fat ass! I Googled it for god sake! Google was meant to have all the answers!... Google you have failed me!

OK so I may have overlooked the fact that New Look, Top Shop and Dotty P's have online sites... and on those online sites they may have a larger Tall Range... So I tried them too...

New Look = 74 items in my size in their 'Tall' range out of that range 2 items jumped out at me, both Jeans... :yawn: I was disappointed in that tbh. they didn't actually state how long their 'Tall' length leg was either which was annoying!
Dorothy Perkins = Much better than I had thought actually... But again literally only 19 items to chose from :annoyedface: Why only 19?? compared to the 136 of the 'Petite' range I think thats kind of stingy of the Dotty P designers to be quite honest I am disappointed and a little peeved about it!
Top Shop = Still only 69 items but that is far greater than the measly 19 Dottys were offering... and at least they had tried to keep the range in this season and the next unlike the rest... But it was still not 100% brilliant... I love Top Shop I often go and glare at all the pretty things and whilst in London I am often found pottering around their fantastic Oxford St shop... generally in ore of the pretty girls who are able to pick out an outfit, try it on and for it to actually fit and then watch them actually be able to buy it, with actual money... albeit no doubt it is Daddies money but it's money all the same and something I haven't got!

So I am pleased to say that, although I have not got the money to buy any of the 69 items in the 'Tall' section of Top Shop, They ARE in fact the ONLY people who have actually taken in to account that Tall People are not all a size 6 and that we are not all middle aged and dowdy, Oh and that we quite like to wear what other people wear and I Thank You for that... But It hasn't helped me as I still can't buy anything... But you have restored my faith... albeit only slightly...

Soooooo If you can drop your prices to that of Primark, Just for the Day and then let me know in advance... then I'd be truely grateful as I literally have pence in my account and taking on a TopShop account scares me, as I have no reason or will power to stop myself from spending too much and getting in to serious trouble with the Hoff... and the Bank...

If anyone has a solution... other than prostituting myself for the funds to buy out the whole of Top Shop's Tall section... Please let me know... I am bored of my wardrobe and need to kick start my life back to being Me again and maybe to start by remembering I'm 25 not 45... and Maybe informing the High street fashion people that I am of that age too!

2 comments:

  1. Feeling your pain! I HATE shopping because everything I try on doesn't fit which becomes tedious and disheartening and then I cave in to coffee and give up. I have indeed taken to Internet shopping - which usually ends up being returned. Although I have to say I've got a couple of gems from Next recently.

    I think we need to convince lex to go into business making clothes for us lanky birds - she is a whizz with a sewing machine!

    At least we can reach the to shelves in supermarkets eh...

    Angela x

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  2. Ah we so should create a new range or campaign for a better range in the existing ones... It's such a shame we even have to worry about it lol

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