Sunday, 10 July 2011

OH MY DAYS... How did you do that to yourself??

This afternoons silence... well when I say silence I mean My Chemical Romance on full blast whilst we pampered ourselves getting dressed and ready to go out, we were bored Hoff's gallivanting on some tiny bike ride :cheekyface:... see previous post... but silence sounds so much more poetic anyway so I went with it... anyhow it was slightly disturbed by a wimper coming from Kyd's bedroom. As I opened the door he was stark bollock naked and his eyes were watering... What's up? He said sobbing 'I've owwwwie' Where's your owwwwie hunny... I just assumed it was his belly as it has been awful with this new meds routine... He pointed down... what? I said confused...

Then I saw it.... Right there... in front of me... Blood!!

I am not usually squeamish but this blood... was coming from a very squeamishy type of place... HIS WINKY... pee pee, willy, weenie, pecker, pinky, ding dong... whatever you want to call it... It was bleeding!!

I instantly panicked OMG how on earth has he done that?? What the hell was I supposed to do he wouldn't let me near enough to figure out where the hell it was coming from.... I actually thought he'd chopped it off or something!!... I am not over dramatic in any way... at all... OK maybe just a little... But I actually thought it was going to be an A & E trip on the cards... Alas it wasn't and as I handed him the babywipes... because I had no idea what else to give him... I realised 1, it was still there and 2, the cut wasn't too bad...

Now how the hell did he do it?? I'm still not sure but it involved a Sunglasses case and the fact that he had no pants on... That's all I understood and to be quite honest I didn't want to ask any more questions... also I had tried soooooo hard not to laugh after my initial panic had disappeared it was just bursting out of me and making all of my insides ache from the sniggering... I had to leave the room 'to get something to put on it'... OMG I was almost dieing that poor lil man (kyd not... you know) How embarrassing!! I got my act together and went to console him.

It looked quite nasty and it was then that the laughing turned to panic... again... and I thought I may have to call someone as I had no Idea how to fix this... You can't put a plaster on it now can you?.... well I did question it but I knew it was a no lol... Blonde Thought!... anyway I tried my mum but she's on Holiday... But she's like my non stop first aid stop a bit like my very own NHS direct... but she was nowhere to be found... So I thought I have no idea what to do... do I treat it like a trapped finger? or what? Can you even put peas on it? or would this make it worse? OMG I need a man! Only a man would know what to do with that!

But then I had a thought... Who would have been through this that isn't on a Charity Bike Ride or a man and could help?.... Another Mummy that's who!!!

Ta Daaaaa Miss Gatto tooooooo the rescue!! Once she stopped laughing, this mummy of 2, almost grown up, boys announced that most little boys get it caught at least once but only ever get it caught that once... for obvious reasons!! And that I should get something cold near it to stop the swelling and to keep an eye on if he goes to the toilet... Great advice! see all it takes is someone that's been there to help. Although getting something cold anywhere near Rhys is never easy and in that region would be near impossible... Then my mum rings as if like magic... and says a long, cold bath will be fine...

And here ends the lesson... Boys get it caught in stuff when naked... just don't let them be naked... and if they insist on it... keep the snap shut sunglasses case away from it!

I'm not looking forward to his teenage years... :worriedface:


  1. OMG!!! I have just been in tears laughing at this - I haven't yet encountered this with my son, but will be sure to tell him to keep his pants on!! LOL
    But really, what are boys like!! x

  2. Very funny! You have a great way of writing!

    If you get a chance please have a look at my blog, it's in the very early stages. It's

  3. Thank you for your comments xx

    ps he's all swelling free now!!

  4. are you frikking kidding me? Once? I've trapped it at least 5 times - always in a zip, and always in horrendous positions.....once is normal??? FFS, I'm weird. And I should possibly also drink less.....


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