Sunday, 22 May 2011

Introducing My Spud...

So this Friday I had the pleasure of babysitting my lovely God daughter, Spud, aged 2, and for A WHOLE DAY!.... Spud is also formally known as Gwyneth/Gwyn. I have called her Spud since she was born because Mummy & Daddy Spud couldn't decide on a name for her for a stupid amount of time!!... anyone would think they'd had 9 months to prepare one... or not! :rollseyes:... But it sort of stuck and now she knows that her name is Princess Spud of the Royal county of Berkshire!!

So baring in mind Kid is nearing 9 and I have little memory of him as a toddler... This was going to be... how can I put it... Interesting!! I have had Spud for a few hours here and there with great success but this was going to be an epic 9-3 sesh and, I'm not going to lie, I was so excited that I was terrified!
Spuddy arrived and with a quick departure of Daddy Spud she began to cry... uh oh I thought, now what... I bribed her... obvious response to a crying toddler. I simply looked at her and said 'trampoline?' with that she gave a big smile and a nod... phew that was an easy escape I've heard stories of her crying for hours from Mummy Spud and I then became quite proud of myself. This is a piece of cake... or so I thought.
OK so at this point I remembered that the attention span of a toddler is some what short to say the least. After a mere 2 minutes on the trampoline she was bored... this worried me now what? DORA!!! Brilliant idea... I hate it but she was glued. I managed to get a few bit's done which was a surprise. She then again got bored of that and reverted back to the trampoline... then to the tele... then back on the trampoline... before getting bored of that and just staring at me as if to say 'sooooooo now what?'. This is when I began to panic a little. I took her upstairs to Kid's play room... This amused her for a minute and she began to stare at me again... fickle these toddlers ay!! I found Kid's colouring box and she smiled from ear to ear.
We began to draw and I found some animal masks that Kid had received from the children's festival that weekend... I put one on and she wet herself laughing 'Alice Elephant' she kept saying... I love it when she laughs but a girl could get a complex being called an elephant over and over!... so I proceeded to run around like a tit (only way I can describe my behaviour to be honest). We coloured them in and we became Spuddyphant and Aliphant running around like mad men. As before, she laughed then just stared at me like 'I'm bored of that now, crazy woman'. How do I please her Royal self when she is so fickle!! Right I know Town... 'No!' she says. Brilliant. Now what..... Do you like chicken nuggets Spuddy? 'YUMMMMMMM nuggets' I took that as a yes! I had resorted to a McDonalds bribe, oh how low I had sunk in my fight for a toddlers affection. Ahhh sod it, I am allowed to spoil her that, after all, is what God Mummys are for! Maybe the shopping trip after and the whole outfit, hair accessories and sweets were a little step too far but she was happy and it was fun.

Girl's like to shop and Spud is no exception... very specific taste this girl has. Anything she thought related to food, she liked and we settled for a lovely little dress with strawberries on... 'Strawberry cake' she said. Was very cute and in my excitement of having an excuse to buy girls clothes, I took the after Maccy D's nappy change break as a great excuse to change her in to it... It was like a child with a new toy I just couldn't wait until I got home. AND she looked soooo cute!! although changing her nappy was an eye opener. She is so small and petite... Kid was a fatty from day one! I thought I was going to break her she was so little... I was fine and just for the record I didn't break her Hurrah!! So she was now in her lovely new outfit and we were in a lovely upmarket department store... So we ran riot in the hat department and tried on some lovely hats! Much to Spuds amusement and the disgust of the middle aged shop lady who was glaring at me with horror. I pretended like I hadn't seen her and carried on as we were being ever so careful and putting them back in the right place... No need for the horrid glances... moody so and so. Anyway we decided that we had had lots of fun but we might actually have to get home as Rhys needed picking up from school and Daddy Spud would be there to pick her up soon.

So here comes the annoying bit of our ever so lovely day... there has to be one doesn't there!! Anyway the oh so tragic memories of the dreaded Pram bus race soon came to light!!!.... Why do bus drivers feel the need to look at you in disgust with a slightly smug look when they say 'There's no room love, the next bus is in 10 minutes' Well I haven't got 10 bloody minutes I need to get my kid from school!! not that I said that to him I just let out an almighty disapproving sigh and the bus driver actually tutted at me! He tutted!! Is there any other thing on this earth that I hate more than someone tutting at me?.... well yes AKON he is my most hated thing but tutting comes in close second... along with Manchester United. The most patronising of things to do to someone and I am not the best at holding my tongue when in such situations. I continued by telling him that his attitude stunk and that I am not a 5 year old I am just someone with a pushchair trying to get on the bus! And that people like him give the nice bus drivers a bad name... well something along those lines... maybe not so civil... I continued to wait for another bus as he drove off with a scowl and guess what... 10 minutes my ass more like 2 seconds. Another bus came along and the happy smiley bus driver smiled and called Spuddy beautiful and smiled at me with teeth and everything! See it is possible for a bus driver to be nice to people... I think this should be the main point in the job spec and tripple checked before giving them the job... other than being able to drive a bus obviously!

I began to remember all those times I'd had to put my pushchair down one handed whilst holding Kid and my many bags of shopping whilst on lookers just sat and watched! I remember hating those people for the whole bus journey spending the whole time imagining horrid things that could happen to them... not serious things obviously I'm not a psycho. Kid was in a pushchair for a lot longer than other children and he was also a lot heavier too. He was only able to walk at 3 and I remember the struggles we had with getting places. I was rudely reminded of this and was a little annoyed that of all the bloody memories this, was the one that came back to me... grrrr damn you grumpy bus man!!

When we got back lovely Spuddy helped me put the washing out.... and with that our day had ended. :sadface: I'd had so much fun... but I was definitely shattered Toddlers are so much work!! This I now remember. Daddy Spud had appeared with Mummy Spud and with a huge skip and a jump our Spud was in their arms... in new clothes... This confused them a little but when I had explained our day they just laughed at me!... cheek of it! :happyface: I did have to run to get Kid as I thought I was late and as I left, she thought I was running away from her and got sad!! The joy on her face when Rhys and I jumped in the car (sneaking a lift as per usual) was overwhelmingly brilliant.... SUCCESS SHE DOES LOVE ME!!
Don't worry Spuddy your Alice in Wonderland would never run away, you are stuck with me for life!! There is so much more I have to teach you.... and so much more mischief for us to get into!! I heart her face so much!!...

I am labelling this a Success story (minus the bus driver)... although something has come of this day... I am now more than ever... ridiculously broody!... :shockedface:...

Looking forward to my next Spud day what will we get up to next time I wonder?

PS. remind me never to give her a red fruit shoot again... BULL... China shop... says it all!!!


  1. You've got a 2nd cousin here the same age as Spud , now you know how i feel <3 they are hard work when they are toddlers , but its soo much fun helping them explore around them .

    By the way , we also have grumpy bus drivers here too and the prams here , they dont like also .

  2. You've got a 2nd cousin here the same age as Spud , now you know how i feel <3 they are hard work when they are toddlers , but its soo much fun helping them explore around them .

    By the way , we also have grumpy bus drivers here too and the prams here , they dont like also .

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